Japanese Dating Game

Dating can be hard enough, but dating someone of a different culture can make it even more complicated. For most of the Western world, the Japanese culture appears to be very mysterious and complex. Japanese men are known for being reserved and direct while Japanese women are recognized as being highly supportive of their men. A brief discussion of how dating goes about in Japan can dispel a lot of these misconceptions. Not so different after all It might surprise some that Japan’s dating culture is really no different from other countries. Like in most Eastern countries, dating in Japan can go at a slower pace compared to the West; much time is allotted to getting to know each other well. And just like in other Eastern countries where modesty is still an important value in society, men are expected to make the first move and “lead the way” on dates and developing the relationship lest the woman appear as being too aggressive. Also because there is a heavy emphasis on modesty, public displays of affection are frowned upon. Apart from the modesty factor though, Japanese men have also traditionally been distant and unaffectionate, thus in Japanese society there is not much public display of affection. And like in most cultures, chivalry is much appreciated. Although “ladies first” is not traditionally part of the Japanese culture, women are also charmed when men open doors and pull out chairs for them. Although Dutch treat is a common dating practice in Japan, women also welcome it when men offer to, and actually pay for the meal. Gift giving is also high on the dating must-dos in Japan. Depending on the era a woman grew up in, she could expect a really expensive gift or, for the younger generation, a sweet token of admiration would suffice. Again like the rest of the world, the concept of “actions speak louder than words” is heavy in Japan. A woman could say one thing and then mean another, it is important to recognize what she truly mean to avoid misunderstandings. On many occasions, too, women are not upfront about being in a relationship while flirting with another man. It is important to specifically ask about this in order to get the answer. The Japanese dating process The typical dating scenario in Japan begins with group dates. People get to know each other through friends, and get to know each other better among friends. This helps ease the pressure from being on one-to-one dates and also manifests how the Japanese desire to acquire their friends’ acceptance of the person they are interested in. After a series of group dates, two people could decide to see each other on an individual basis, if they like each other well enough. This, however, is limited to dates in public places, and although there may be a holding of hands, public displays of affection such as hugging and kissing are not desirable. At this point, two people are not yet considered dating, but merely getting to know each other some more. It is not until two people acknowledge each other in kokuhaku that they begin to consider each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. The concept of kokuhaku Kokuhaku is a significant part of the Japanese dating process. It refers to the confession of love or like of one person, usually the guy, for another. It is at this point, when acknowledged by the other party, that two people are considered to begin dating and are boyfriend and girlfriend. After the kokuhaku, two people may start seeing each other in private, as well as engage in physical intimacy. Online dating in Japan Like the rest of the world, online dating has penetrated the Japanese culture. Here are some sites that Japanese have relied on for finding a special someone. JapanCupid.com JapanCupid.com is one of Japan’s largest online dating sites that aims to match up Japanese people and Westerners. With thousands of members joining every week, JapanCupid.com has a large database where one is sure to find what he or she is looking for. Joining is easy and free, and allows members to create a profile, search their database and start making contact with other members. They do have subscription packages that allow members to do more, like send emails and instant messages and have a paying member’s profile become more visible than non-paying members. The Platinum subscription even allows members to create a video profile and exchange video messages with other members. It also provides for translation services so a profile can be reproduced in other languages. And like all other online dating sites, JapanCupid.com has online chat rooms open to subscribed members. JapanDatingsite.Com JapanDatingsite.com is hosted by one of the pioneers in online dating, WordFriends.tv. Based on the site profile provided by JapanDatingsite.com, it does not just limit itself to the Japanese setting since it defines itself as an “online community for international singles”. As in all other dating sites, regular membership is free and offers basic profile and database search services and initiate initial contact with other members. The premium membership, on the other hand, allows members to send emails and instant messages, initiate video chats, join groups, and receive weekly matches. A unique feature of the site is its Travel section where members share details of upcoming trips and arrange to meet up or provide assistance. SoulmatesJapan.Com SoulmatesJapan.com is an online dating site for those who are on the lookout for a more serious and meaningful relationship, and to prove their point they not only hired Japanese and English staff to monitor activities of members, they also have an optional feature of having members provide a proof of identity. They do not show members’ personal information anywhere on the site but they tag members who have proven their identity so that other members can know and feel secure. Among Japanese online dating sites reviewed, SoulmatesJapan.com is also the only site that supports a blog or e-zine that allows members to post articles on the various aspects of Japanese dating. SoulmatesJapan.com also prides itself on being the Japanese online dating site that is Japanese-owned and run. Match.com Match.com is one of the leaders and pioneers in the online dating industry so it is no surprise that it has become quite popular in Japan as well. Being a global dating site for twelve years now, Match.com has millions of member all over the world. Match.com has also evolved through the years to provide its members with up-to-date services based on industry trends and technology. Among all the sites reviewed, Match.com is the only one that provides a complete selection of services that include daily matches, free-writing sections for members, an online magazine, mobile access and even professional writers to create members’ profiles. Match.com is also the only site to have a guarantee that its member will find a match within six months, otherwise they give the member an additional six months of free membership. Just like the rest of the world, all that the Japanese men and women want is to find that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Whether they do it face to face or online doesn’t matter, the Japanese culture is always going to be at the heart of it all and will always influence the way they go about dating, courtship and marriage.

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Our articles are written to provide you with tools and information to meet your IT and cloud solution needs. Join us on Facebook and Twitter.   About the Guest Author: Rodolfo Lentejas, Jr. is a fulltime freelance writer based in Toronto. He is the founder of the PostSckrippt, a growing online writing business dedicated to producing top quality, original and fresh content. To know more about him, please visit www.postsckrippt.ca. Like him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest.